How to be a good sitter for a beginner medium

Written By Liz Murphy
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HOW TO BE A GOOD SITTER FOR A BEGINNER MEDIUM

If you’ve offered to sit for a beginner medium, I want to start by saying this: THANK YOU. Because what you’re doing matters a lot.

You’re helping someone build trust and confidence in their skills as a medium, and that can only happen through practice with real people.

But sometimes volunteers can be confused or misinformed about their role as a sitter for a developing medium.

So I want to be very clear about something upfront: this is not a space to get a free reading. When you volunteer to sit for a developing medium, you’re doing so in service.

That doesn’t mean the reading won’t be meaningful or accurate (they often are), but it does mean the goal is learning.

It’s also important to understand that the mediums you’re working with in my groups or classes are beginners. For some students, your session may be their very first time reading for another person. 

  • Your medium is probably going to be nervous and a little awkward. 

  • They might go slowly.

  • They might lose the connection (or struggle to get it back).

  • They may give evidence you can’t quite understand. 

  • And you may or may not get a message from spirit.  

But that’s ok.  It’s all part of the learning process. And mistakes are encouraged here, because they’re how trust and confidence are built.

My hope is that by sitting in these sessions you’ll not only help your medium make real progress in their development, but that you might gain a clearer understanding of how mediumship actually works or even learn something new on your own spiritual journey!

Everything below is here to help you show up in a way that truly supports the student, and creates the best possible experience for everyone involved.

YOUR ROLE AS A SITTER

  • SHOW UP AND BE ON TIME

    Working with people in person can be nerve wracking for beginners.  And it takes an immense amount of courage to put themselves out there to do this work.

    Also, most developing mediums are scheduling practice in their often very limited free time, so please respect everyone’s time and energy. It’s just good manners.

    If you can’t make your appointment (I get it, life happens or maybe you’re nervous, too) reach out and let them know as soon as possible, so they can make other arrangements.  

  • CREATE A DISTRACTION FREE ENVIRONMENT

    Distractions can make it hard for the beginner medium to make the connection or keep the link with spirit. Please show up in a quiet space, free of disruptions, have your camera on, so you can focus on the reading.

    During the student reading, please DO NOT engage in activities like: 

    • Driving

    • Working at your job

    • Walking around with the camera on

    • Avoid loud noises like public/crowded areas, dogs barking, kids/people in the home or background, phone ringing or notifications, etc.

    • Asking your medium about “x,y or z” (unless the medium directly asks if you have any questions for your loved one in spirit). Again, you are there to support the medium, not to see what you can get out of the reading. 

  • AVOID COACHING YOUR MEDIUM

    • Beginners may be working on a specific skill that you’re not aware of and your  “help” may distract them from focusing on that skill during the reading. 

      For example:  The medium might get stuck during the reading, and you don’t want to see them struggle, so you jump in to help them.  But they’re actually trying to learn how to overcome the panic of losing the link and using their tools to get unstuck on their own.  If you jump in and try to save them, then they can’t develop that skill for themself.  

    • Do not compare your sitter to other readings you may have had or tell the medium where you think they need to do better. Critique or commentary can be EXTREMELY discouraging and damaging at this stage—and can actually stall development.

    • Instead, be patient and compassionate.  Let the medium know they can take all the time they need.  There’s no rush and no pressure to perform, you’re here for them.

  • GIVE VALIDATION AND FEEDBACK

    • Validation and feedback are critical to developing as a medium.  It’s how the medium learns to trust the information they’re receiving from spirit along with learning how to correctly express it in a way the sitter understands. 

    • During the reading, please give verbal validation for each piece of evidence given by the medium with a simple yes, no, or I don’t know. Avoid giving extra information as it can cause the medium to get in their head and lose the connection with spirit. 

      FOR EXAMPLE:

      Medium: I feel your grandmother had a heart attack.  

      Correct way to respond as a sitter:

      Sitter: Yes.

      Incorrect way to respond as a sitter: 

      Sitter: Yes, my grandma had a heart attack at the age of 70.  It happened at home and the ambulance rushed her to the hospital where she passed.  She was prescribed heart pills but didn’t trust the doctors so she never took them.  She also had diabetes that she hid from the family. 

    • Time for feedback will occur at the end of the reading and you can explain all the extra details then. (Some sitters find it helpful to take notes during the reading, so you don’t have to try and remember everything.)

    • While accuracy is super important in mediumship, most beginner mediums are trying to build confidence, so please be more flexible with your validations.

      FOR EXAMPLE:

      If the medium says they have a mom, but you have a mother in law, step mom, or someone who was like a mom - please say yes and clarify for the medium. 

      Or if they say your Dad had a large brown dog, but he had a large black dog instead, please say “I understand the large dog”. 

      Also, if you understand what the medium is trying to convey, but the wording isn't quite right… you can tell them "I know what you are getting at and can explain more at the end". For example, beginner mediums often think my sister was a teacher. When in fact she did work in a school, but not as a teacher - so I understand why they’d think that. 

  • FOCUS ON GRATITUDE AND ENCOURAGEMENT

    • Above all else, gratitude and encouragement go a long way.

      Beginner mediums are in the vulnerable stage of learning to trust themselves. They’re building confidence, learning how to stay in the link, and figuring out how to interpret what they’re receiving in real time. 

    • What does help? A sincere thank you. Pointing out what went well and what they got right.  Acknowledging the effort it takes to show up and practice. Letting the student know you appreciate their time, their intention, and their willingness to learn.

    • Your presence, patience, and kindness help create the safety that allows real growth to happen. And that kind of support is invaluable.

WANT SUPPORT ON YOUR OWN MEDIUMSHIP JOURNEY?

If you’re reading this and feel the pull to develop your own mediumship, or you’re already practicing but need more confidence, I offer 1:1 mentorship for beginner mediums.

My mentorship is designed to help you:

  • Build confidence in your connection (without meditation or complicated rituals)

  • Stop second-guessing what comes through

  • Connect in a way that’s consistent and on demand

  • Practice with guidance and support every step of the way

If you’re ready for real support (not more information), I’d love to help you on your mediumship journey.

👉 Learn more about my 1:1 mentorship here: https://www.mediumlizmurphy.com/mentorship

Liz Murphy