Is Mediumship a Gift?
IS MEDIUMSHIP A GIFT?
I’m just curious—is being a medium a gift or can anyone actually become a medium just because they wanted to? I’ve heard so many different things… I don’t know what to believe.
If you’ve ever googled something like Is mediumship a gift or an ability?, then you know how many conflicting opinions there are on the topic. And like everything in the mediumship community, if you ask 100 different mediums, you’re going to get 100 different answers.
But the answers pretty much fall into these two camps:
It’s a divine gift, only for a select, chosen few
Everyone can become a medium
And as a mentor for beginner mediums, I usually hear this question come up when people are either having some kind of experience with spirit and wondering… can I really do this? Or they’re struggling and worried that maybe they just don’t have it.
So let’s break it down.
WHY SOME THINK MEDIUMSHIP IS A GIFT
It’s what they were taught by their mentor/teacher who learned it from their mentor, who learned it from their mentor, and it just keeps continuing on through the generations of students
Belief systems - it’s a calling, it’s a divine gift, you have to be chosen, you have to be born with it, it’s passed down from one generation to the next, you need to wait for it to “turn on” or be “given” to you, etc.
The ego’s need to feel special
WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Communicating with spirit is an ability that EVERYONE is able to do. It’s as natural as breathing. In fact, you’re already doing it, you just don’t know how to recognize it yet.
Why? Because your true essence IS spirit. You are NOT your physical body. You’re pure awareness or consciousness (I call it spirit), having a physical experience.
And because you’re spirit, connected to the oneness (again… call it God, Universe, Source, whatever word feels right for you), you can’t NOT be connected.
Being a human in this physical experience gives the illusion of separation, but you couldn’t be separated or disconnected, even if you tried.
The simple truth is mediumship is a skill. And with the right training and practice, you can learn to become aware of that connection and speak the language of spirit, in the same way you can learn to speak Spanish, French or any other language.
WHY A BELIEF IN THE GIFT IS HARMFUL TO BEGINNER MEDIUMS:
Besides it being completely untrue (in the hundreds of people I’ve worked with, NO ONE that wanted to learn, has ever been UNABLE to connect with spirit), this idea of mediumship being called a gift can be detrimental for a beginner’s development.
IT MAKES MEDIUMSHIP FEEL OUT OF REACH
If mediumship is a gift, then it’s not something you learn. You either have it or you don’t.
This makes beginners constantly question if they’re “one of the gifted ones”
And it keeps WAY too many people from getting started or making progress.
IT STRENGTHENS SELF-WORTH ISSUES
One of the most damaging parts of this belief is that your mediumship gets intertwined with your identity and your innate worth as a person.
If you’re not gifted, then you must not be good enough.
So instead of “I’m still learning this”, your thoughts become “I’m not good enough for this”.
Every missed piece of information, every moment of doubt, every time you drop the connection, it feels like a personal failure instead of the normal challenges that every beginner faces and learns to work through.
IT CREATES UNHEALTHY PRESSURE
When something is labeled as a “gift,” it comes with unspoken expectations like:
It should happen naturally and flow without effort
Your readings should be perfect every time
Your information should always be impressive, accurate, and crystal clear
So beginners feel:
Self-doubt when it doesn’t feel easy
Pressure to perform, even when they’re still learning
Fear of making mistakes or getting it wrong
And then there’s this underlying belief: “If mediumship is a gift… shouldn’t I be using it for others?” Which can lead to over-giving, burnout, and offering readings before they’re actually ready.
IT’S DISEMPOWERING
Instead of taking ownership of their development, beginners start hoping and waiting.
Hoping that they’re special enough to receive the gift
Waiting for a sign, a moment, or another medium to tell them they have it and that they’re good enough.
And instead of trusting their own experiences and choosing to invest their time and energy in their development, their progress depends on someone outside of themselves giving them permission to start.
IT LIMITS GROWTH
If you believe mediumship is a gift, you’re automatically in a fixed mindset.
You either have it, or you don’t, which doesn’t leave room for learning, practice, trial and error, and continual growth. But mediumship requires all of those things for development.
The fixed mindset leads to thoughts like: I got a no, it must mean I don’t have the gift.
Instead of a growth mindset, which allows for thoughts like: I got a no, let’s figure out why I got it wrong.
The fixed mindset puts a ceiling on growth before it even begins.
IT SLOWS DEVELOPMENT
The gift belief keeps you stuck, spinning your wheels and not making any real progress in your development. Here’s what I see most often from beginners:
Waiting for it to activate or feel ready before they start
They’re constantly overthinking and evaluating themselves: Do I have it? Was that real? Maybe I’m not meant for this
Things get hard, so they stop practicing or give up
Jumping around, looking for someone to give them the magical pill that will make it all work
My students who have the biggest growth are willing to step out of their comfort zone, focus on the foundations and consistently do the work.
ETHICAL IMPLICATIONS
This belief doesn’t just affect a beginner’s ability to develop as a medium, it affects the people they read for, too.
Gifted” mediums often don’t get enough training and practice. They start working with the general public WAY too soon, which leads to lower standards of evidential mediumship, as well as a slew of ethical problems that can actually cause more damage than good to the grieving client.
By creating the illusion of “I have something you don’t”, the client can become dependent on the medium to communicate with their loved ones. Instead, we should be empowering our clients to trust their own experiences and encouraging them to connect with their loved ones on their own.
It also perpetuates fear and stereotypes that mediums are rare, supernatural, or mysterious. When in reality, everyone has the ability to communicate with spirit.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP THE GIFT BELIEF
What I see after the first session with all my students is the HUGE SENSE OF RELIEF when they realize anyone can do this.
They stop hoping they can connect with spirit (and it’s so much easier than they expected!)
They get off the sidelines and start practicing
They build confidence in their abilities
They start trusting themselves and spirit, instead of constantly questioning whether it’s real
So if you’re struggling with your mediumship, I want you to know it’s not a GIFT problem.
Anyone can learn the skills and develop their abilities.
And if you need more personalized support, I can help! Check out my 6 week 1:1 mentorship program Connect with Confidence and let’s get you moving forward in your development!
